Is The Writing Path Becoming too Toxic?

Lunar New Year is here and I'm feeling the call to shed...

We’ve got a lot of universal shifts and energy coming in this week. It is Lunar New Year ( Blessing to all who are celebrating) and it is the year of the snake - a sign of rebirth, creativity, letting go, and prosperity. We have a New Moon in Aquarius asking us to look for new solutions and to stray away from the tried and true ways, it’s once again a sense of rebirth and realignment as we manifest our goals for the cycle ahead. Lastly, we have Imbolc ( Im-Ulk) here in the northern hemisphere on Saturday, the next turn of the wheel and the middle ground between Winter and Spring; we’re starting to come out of the darkness and dreaming of winter to slowly awaken to the new growth ahead in the light of spring.

As much as there is all this powerful, new, vibrant energy, the whole at large is, let’s just be honest here, a complete and utter shit show. I hope the Aquarian energy of humanitarianism can work some magic because, good grief do we need it! I try hard to keep faith, to know that everything will be okay, and that whatever comes to me and for me is part of the journey. I know the esoteric folks and creatives are needed more than ever right now, and yet, I’m not sure anymore that I can continue, I’m not sure I can keep buying what they are selling.

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Recently, I have been giving this path of mine a lot of reflection and deliberation. I thought I had answers for my WIP book that i’ve talked about before and then it became clearer that actually, more adjustment was needed. I have scrapped another idea, I have scrapped the title, and I am beginning anew - choosing to say little about it right now as I want to keep it scared and secure with me for a while to grow it’s roots before opening it up to the world. With this writing world, rejection is at the base of it all more so than anything else. I’ve touched upon how slim acceptance rates are before, especially for poetry at the moment, and even the big hitters have been losing faith in themselves and their manuscripts. The odds are not in our favour, and it is much like the job market; you can’t get a job without the experience, but you can’t get the experience if people don’t give you a chance at the job ( substitute job for acceptance in this case). Recently I was told that there were 550 people submitted 3-5 poems each for a poetry magazine and only 20 single poems could be chosen. It is also more difficult when you are a disabled poet and writer.

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I’m finding that even those who are set up for equal opportunity and diversity are still really limited. Yesterday, the lists for the Disabled Poetry Prize 2025 were announced - I entered this one and have been waiting on news - I found out that I wasn’t near listed from a social media post. I was happy and shared congratulations for a few of my wonderful peers who made the list, they are very lovely and talented people and I wish them the best of luck. What I was most angered by is that the process hasn’t been followed on their end; my application still says ‘In Progress’ on Submittable and clearly, I was declined yet I haven’t been informed of this directly and other people I know who also applied are in the same place, we found out via social media. This is a prize for disabled and neurodivergent people. People who are already vulnerable in their mental health, people who are struggling with the way the world is more so than most, who are always the first to get their benefits cut by the government, who don’t get support for their conditions or compassion from medical teams. People who probably needed a lot of courage, support, and energy to complete the application process in the first place. For a group to say they are advocates for disabled people to not consider the mental health implications of not following protocol is just angering to me. We are asked to submit through portals such as Submittable at the organisers choice so in doing so all acceptances and declines should be done through that first before any kind of announcement is made. It just makes the rejection more jarring. Society complains all the time about disabled people, ‘blight’ is an adjective usually attached to our broken souls and corpses and people are under the misapprehension that we get everything handed to us on a plate. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

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I am still waiting to hear from submissions I made in Aug/Sept last year, it can take up to 6 months for publications and publishers to make decisions due to funding issues and I absolutely understand the lack of financial help for the arts, but while they are deciding, you are in limbo. Some places accept simultaneous submissions but then you run the risk of having to choose between journals/publications which looks quite unprofessional.

As you can probably tell, I’ve had my fill of everything. I don’t usually write posts like this but I can’t stay quiet or continue to just keep saying “Rejection is redirection” when this is all I have. Writing is my only option. I don’t have a safety net, I can’t fall back on a conventional job to get me through; my illnesses don’t allow me that, they are too unpredictable and have been for the past thirteen years and counting. As Sylvia Plath said “I write only because - There is a voice within me that will not be still”. I was gifted creativity, it is my tool for my soul path, my words and art are my wands. I have worked my arse off the last four years to get my writing of all genres to a high calibre, I have attended the calls, done the online open mics, paid for mentors, attended workshops, pushed my comfort zone repeatedly, lived and breathed writing while educating my children, battling my health, and tending to my Homelife.

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I’m wondering if this new moon is telling me it’s time to get out. Is it just too toxic now to go the traditional route? I’m not giving up on the writing but giving up on the competition and comparison of it all. I find no joy in any of it anymore, and worse than anything I find very little camaraderie in the community. I think because it’s becoming so competitive and cut throat at times, everyone is looking out for their best interest. I find that even though I support as many small publishers , authors/poets, and organisations as I can, I don’t really get anything in return for my own endeavours - it is always the same wonderful souls who are connecting with me and buying my work and I am so incredibly grateful for them; It unfortunately isn’t the bigger picture. I don’t support people for it in return, it’s just more noted when you are in this place. I’ve not felt this dejected and abandoned in quite some time and it’s making me feel like there is no hope.

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Last week, I was pondering whether I should take six months and just get myself in order; study, learn new skills in other mediums, concentrate on my health, and commit to my children and Homelife. I think after the last few days, this is starting to look like a really good option. I don’t want to self-publish, I’ve been there, and it’s really a lot to get people to engage, plus for the first time in my life, I wholeheartedly believe that my work deserves to be looked after properly.

Perhaps it’s time to find a new way to achieve the dream. Are you feeling things heavy right now? Are you a writer or creative who is just not feeling the secure in your path?Please do comment below or contact me via Instagram @RochelleHanslowWitch

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I apologise for the tone of this piece, it may be PMDD coming through more than anything but as with anyone, even living the witchy life, I still have times where I struggle and I’d be doing myself and others a disservice if I didn’t show that with honesty.

Until next time - If you want change, try magic.

RH xx