The Write Path

I have some news...it's quite novel.

Hello Everyone!

Can you believe we’re into the last weeks of May already? This years has certainly sprung forward at an alarming pace and it hasn’t been the year I was expecting so far. What i’m rapidly learning though is that it’s been the year I need right now.

I’ve been very much in the in-between for the last three months, in life in general, but also with my writing. It’s not for a lack of ideas at all, I have a project book (or two) filled with ideas that have come to me that I want to explore in both writing and art, especially when it comes to zines where I can incorporate both. I’ve just grown tired of the continuing push and pull; creating is all great and well but it’s all the extra tasks that come along with it now, the hoop jumping like we’re at CRUFTS. Let’s be honest too, some of the hopes are on fire and a high majority of them lead to dead ends.

As I openly spoke about recently, I’ve also been struggling with a lot of things mentally and spiritually. A little over a month ago, I wrote down no more than two lines; the simplest form of an idea for a novel based on what I had been going through. I’ve gotten into a habit that if any kind of idea comes to me to just write it down, it could be absolutely nonsensical and not work out and that’s okay but I’ve still had the idea. It’s all about keeping the creative waters flowing and making sure there isn’t another drought. I put it to the side and didn't think about it again. Then on Tuesday this week, I had this surge within me, I was tired of floundering. I noticed a notebook on my new creative space desk that had a list I wrote - an exercise I did with my husband to help us in our connection - called a ‘Life Joy List’. A list of things that would bring peace, joy, and make me feel alive to experience in this lifetime. It was a way to help me refocus and to see what a life well lived actually means to me now. 1 of the 11 (111, new beginnings, thank you Spirit Coven) things I wrote down was ‘To complete and put out at least one novel’. This jolted me, reaffirming that I can’t stop writing, it’s not a choice, writing is in my soul. I do not choose it, it chooses me and it will not be stilled. The words come from within, I am merely the channel, the vessel that puts them forward.

This lead to me exploring all the ideas I have for books; I have ideas for children’s books, young kid/teen books, non-fiction, and of course fiction. I started writing a novel a few weeks ago that has been rattling around for a long time but it came to halt quite quickly. Not out of lack of direction, just the fire wasn’t there yet. I didn’t want to force it. I decided to look at the few lines I wrote about a novel for what I’ve experienced recently and all of a sudden my pen was scribbling in my project book effortlessly. I felt charged, I felt excited, and most of all, I felt capable. Within two days I had character bios, character arcs, a synopsis, ideas for scenes and dialogue and most importantly for me; I had a title and a vision of a book cover.

How it began…

I decided to let the ideas swirl and process it all, to make sure it was the project I wanted to focus on right now. The next day I felt compelled to start typing it out, to begin the birth of it, just to see it form, come to life, and make sure I had the bones of it truly in place. I became absorbed by it, I didn’t want to stop writing it, I actually felt disappointed when I had to finish up for the day. I’ve been chomping at the bit each morning to get day-to-day tasks done so that I can sit back down with my new child, nurture it, show it how to blossom - emerge from the darkness into the light. I had only worked at it in increments Thursday and Friday and by the end of Friday I was sitting at almost 15000 words. It was seamless. The words and characters seemed to just appear on the page, almost like a thermal image. I had forgotten to drink on Thursday I got so into it and so everyday I now, typically AuDHD, and have 2-3 drinks around me at once to remind me to drink while I write.

I am one of these people who edits as I go - I know, I know, smacky wristy - and as I sat reading yesterday (Saturday), I actually got goosebumps and a little bit emotional. I had gone so far into hyper fixation mode that the words just came;The idea of the scene was written down and I just adjusted it accordingly to what can come previously. I realised though that I hadn’t been fully processing or taking in the words I was writing, so when I read it back, I was gut punched at some of the phrases and lines. It felt I was reading it as a consumer and not as the writer. I told my husband that it was getting to a point each day that I was forgetting these people aren’t real; but my goodness do they feel real to me. They all feel like they are a part of me. By the end of day yesterday I was 11 chapters in and ended just short of 31,000 words. It was during the process yesterday that I also realised two more important things:

1. That I am truly creating a world here. One that, at its core, is fuelled by my experience, heartbreak, spirituality, wisdom, and lessons. I can, however, write this however I want…I can bend, shape, mould, and sculpt until my hearts content.

2. That what I’m writing isn’t just a novel, it’s not a book - it’s a 3 part series. I stopped in the middle of writing a scene, got my project book out and filled another page with possible plot lines and titles. The meanings of each book and how it all ties together. I squealed. My bare feet did an on the spot jig. It was finally happening, I was finding my path, my voice, my true creative flow…and it is healing me.

The best part is, I don’t care how these books emerge in the world. Whether someone picks them up or whether I have to self-publish and rely on #bookstagram and #booktok. I believe, truly believe in what I’m creating because I am seeing my capability more and more with every single addition to the page. I’ve never sat in the car outside a supermarket on a Saturday morning with my laptop, writing full force in my life - until yesterday. I thought that was just an exaggerated stereotype in the movies of a writer or journalist, but I see now that if the project pulls you in enough, it can happen. Either that or I’m just really tapping into my AuDHD.

I’m excited to see where this goes. To continue building this world and fully stepping into being not just a writer, but an author. I want to nurture this project as much as I can behind the screen before I reveal anything, I hope that be understood, but I will talk about the process as best as I can here without giving much away.

Thank you for being here with me and for me.

Until next time - If you want change, try magic.

RH x